Rob & MJ's Garden

Our little plot of garden in So Cal – grow and buy local!

BBQ Sauce – Rob’s Spicy Updated Recipe

Now more than once, my tossed together BBQ sauce has caused a ruckus at the house and everyone always asks for the recipe.  We’ll shit, there ain’t no recipe.  Sorry folks, if your grandma didn’t teach you how to throw stuff together in the kitchen with the spices you should already have on the shelf; well ya’ll are just going to starve ain’t ya!  …or at least live a really bland and tasteless and meaningless unfulfilled life  😉  Even tofu needs some seasoning.
Being from Texas, BBQ is just a way of life and we all know that pre-made goop they call BBQ sauce in the store will sortof get the job done. (Well not really, but I’m tellin you that to make you feel better.)   But us Texan’s really consider BBQ an art and a big part of that is our homemade BBQ sauce.  We save the store bought stuff for BBQ emergencies and guests from California that don’t know any better.  Let’s face it, you ain’t really a Texan if you cant throw together some BBQ sauce in a pinch with stuff off the shelf in your kitchen.
So ya’ll best git to gitten, cuz we about to be fixin some BBQ sauce up in hure.
Here is the updated recipe with some extra ingredients as well tips and tricks…

Recommended Ingredients

  • Butter – real butter, lots of it, if you don’t have real butter then just step away from the stove
  • Worcestershire Sauce – just start with the quart jug of it and you’ll do fine
  • Liquid Smoke – go light on this if your BBQing on charcoal or wood, otherwise dump it in until it smells like you already burned down the kitchen
  • Brown Sugar and/or Honey (All depends on how sweet you want your BBQ sauce)
  • Garlic Powder (Fresh garlic if you really want it garlicky, if your starting with fresh garlic, then sauté it in the butter before you start adding anything else in)
  • Onion Powder
  • Ground Black Pepper – as much as you think you can handle
  • Ground Cayenne Pepper – if you want it hot, add a lot; otherwise just a pinch for some extra zing
  • Ground Cumin
  • Ground Coriander
  • Lowries Seasoning Salt
  • Ketchup or Tomato Paste – add for thickening, I tend to go light on the tomato products
  • Herb Blends (Rosemary, Basic, Thyme, Sage, tarragon, marjoram) I usually like Provencal herb blends plus Rosemary and prefer flakes that can be crushed in your hand and then sprinkled in.  You get better flavor that way.  This is one area where you can get creative and figure out what blend of herbs you really like.
If you don’t already have everything above this line, give up, go to the store and buy some pre-made goop.  You ain’t got no business trying to throw together BBQ sauce!  And don’t run out to da store an buy all this stuff, cuz it’s clear you aint gonna know what the hell to do with it.
Optional Ingredients
  • Optional – Black Cardamom Powder (This my friends, IS my secret ingredient, I know it sounds scary and un-southern like. But you gotta trust me on this one.)
  • Optional – Fresh Ground Nutmeg  (Do not use store bought powder, I tend to use Nutmeg only IF I’m going for a sweet BBQ sauce.  Again DO NOT use store bough powder.)
  • Optional – Vinegar (Balsamic for flavor, Red or Apple Cider for more Zing)
  • Optional – Bay Leaves if you have time to cook the sauce
  • Optional – Sea Salt or Pink Himalayan salt – if more salt is needed. (Wait until the end to add this because you may not need it.)
First off, don’t ask me how much of this stuff to toss in the pot. Be glad I even scribbled down a list of stuff to toss in.  Your on your own there.
Melt the butter and sauté the garlic if your starting with the fresh stuff.   If your using any fresh herbs, this is also a good time to start them cooking.
Start tossing the recommended ingredients into the pot.  Keep it at a very low simmer so as not to burn the stuff on the bottom.  We like our BBQ sauce smokey, not all burnt up to to hell.  (You non-Texans are probably going to burn up whatever you grill anyway, so its probably no matter.)  During this phase of fixin the BBQ sauce you have a lot of choices to make.  Do you want it Sweet? Tangy? Hot? Spicey? Peppery? Herby? Adjust how much of what you toss in the pot based on your flavor profile preference. (For those that don’t have a clue what flavor profile means, refer back to the list above of descriptive tastes.)
If you can’t figure that part out, find the nearest grandma from the South.  Any grandma from the South with do. Be warned…   Your hand may or may not get whacked with a wooden spoon.  Really depends on how bad you messed it up.  That will be your first clue.   If your lucky, you’ll get to watch and taste test.  If you really messed it up, you’ll get whacked over the head and tossed outta da kitchen.  (Make sure the iron skillet is hidden from granny if you don’t have mad kitchen skillz!  That shit hurts!)
Hopefully at this point your base tastes more like BBQ sauce than dog food.  Just because the dogs have come runnin into the kitchen does not mean you have ff’d up, it just means they know something good is about to be going down.  If your old dog is starin up at you droolin all over the kitchen floor, then you know you got it right.  If a hound has shown up at your back porch, then you better bottle that shit up.
Now comes the optional ingredients.  Again you have choices to make here.  There is no wrong answer.  Well except maybe the salt.  Be careful with the salt.  Hopefully you have been tasting your BBQ sauce as you have been going along.    If you have time to simmer your sauce for 15 to 30 or more minutes, then toss in a bay leaf or two.   I could probably come up with more optional ingredients than what is on my list.  It really depends on what your going for.  But if you made it this far and have an acceptable pot of BBQ sauce in front of you, then you should be able to figure out the optional part.
If you don’t know what to do from here, I give up, git da hell off my porch.  Bu Bye!
PS…  For all ya’ll that actually followed along and figured this out, Happy BBQing!  Be sure to invite us over if you come up with your own tasty creation!



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